LETTER TO DAUGHTERS FAR AWAY

May 15, 1993

It’s early morning and I can’t sleep

because I miss you

your presence,

laughter,

personalities,

Time coasts on.

The wind outside moans free

and I’m trying to sing with it.

My lament is from the soul, sorrowful,

because I am disconnected

from your lifting spirits.

The song vanishes into the night.

Emptiness invades and engulfs me.

The quietness creeps in closer

and closer.

I’m touching feelings

That were non-existent yesterday.

That discovery stirs an inner vortex.

I have to write this down,

give these feelings care and thought.

See, I’ve discarded

my legendary illegibility.

You deserve neat printing on two pages

On paper torn from your mother’s spiral notebook.

A moment ago, I painted nostalgia

onto watery eyes. Your formative impression years

were boldly stroked from memory images.

My three babies became children

and now beautiful, energetic women.

You have arrived.

Remember those wonder years?

How each of us discovered awe,

each of us in our own ways.

Thank God I can

relive those times

On nights like these.

Do you remember when

our transition time set in?

We had fewer and fewer moments

in true, revealing light.

Life presented different fashions

For our new, emerging passions.

Oh, we had chances,

Plenty came our way

for connection and clasping.

But other priorities kept grasping

as your maturity came into play.

Oh well, be that as it may.

And now,

I live each new day

in a different spirit.

Rest assured, don’t worry.

I’m building new ways to relate

To each of you.

There, I’ve spilled it out.

Now, you know this part of me.

Take this as a confession.

it lifts a depression

that spans the difference between us,

Making the path between us a new beginning.